So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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