to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
