I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i think my cat just said my name.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
