we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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There's always time for handjobs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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