I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
