I can tuck mytits in my pants
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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