just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
