Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
