Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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