haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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