I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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