is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
