24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
