There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize