I'm jealous of your bromance
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
