I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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