I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
