what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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