I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
another moral hangover. fuck.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize