just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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