Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
