There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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