I bet he comes in French.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
