I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
