he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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