She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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