Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize