Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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