I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
