You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize