she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and she was petting her beer can
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
