Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
