You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
