if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
