Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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