she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
