He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
