if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
