I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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