I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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