I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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