I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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