so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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