Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
