my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize