We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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