You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
