In the future we'll all be gay
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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