I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
