My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
