His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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