how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
