JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
