She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
