I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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