thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
