He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
