i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
