Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
