More tranny stories later!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
