how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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