Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
