I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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