I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize