he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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