woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
