so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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